My ability to work independently has been compromised. I cannot be somewhere even with a person 50 feet away. I always feel like I am being hunted. Watched. Stalked. I see shadows move in my vision that I can not determine if they are real or not. I see a leering face just out of reach, someone in a white mask.
I have irrational fears for a grownup, feelings of having a demon snatch me up or hurt me when I am alone. I feel as if I am a forsaken angel and the visions I have from God are trying to guide me back to reality. I do not feel… Human. Not do I feel supernatural. I feel like I am the result of something in between a bond between the two. Something that was not meant to be. I am cursed.
None of this makes any sense and I am rambling. I don’t know why… I just feel the need to talk for some reason. Nobody even listens. Nobody ever does.
I am an anomaly. Self aware enough to know something is wrong, to know what I see and feel is not real, but I cannot stop myself from seeing, from hearing, from believing. From feeling like everything that happening is real. I tell myself that this is all a facade. That none of this is real..
So why do I constantly feel on edge and why am I fighting with myself..?