Having flashbacks of when I was sexually assaulted randomly today. Its really put me in an awful mood because it just tears down my self esteem because of what I remember being said to me when I was so young. It really destroys my confidence in who I am and what I am about. Its honestly just bullshit.

Well its been about a month since Ive last been on here. Life has been pretty good. My meds are finally right with no needed adjustments necessary right now. Still looking for a job but I think I might just take one 3rd shift at this store on the corner by where I live. Normally I wouldnt do this since I’m a pretty proud person and think anything thats not important is beneath me, but im trying to broaden my horizions and to do so, I think I need to humble myself. Goals are to get a car, find a better job after thats been established, hit the gym daily once I have my car, then find a place to live that isnt my parents house. Baby steps though, baby steps. I just need to focus on whats in front of me and take that on first before I even start to think about the future and what I want to do. Its nice to have a plan and all, but you need to complete the small tasks before you in order to conquer the larger task beyond those small ones. Right now my big plan is just going back to school. Not finding a career, not get married, not have kids, not anything but just going back to school.

Now that I have a woman in my life again life seems a bit more approachable. I have someone to lean on and someone who leans on me. We feed off eachothers energy and keep eachother in check. We support one another. Thats all I really want and need.

I’ll try and keep in touch more frequently. Its just been on the back of my mind really and no drive has been present to post until tonight. Thanks!