I really don’t like admitting I’m sick. I’m very ill right now though. The last couple weeks it’s gotten exponentially worse. Every minute that drags by I can feel the void calling my name. Whispering. Pleading. Begging.

I just want to die, and I don’t even think I’ll have to do it myself. I feel a very ominous shadow creeping into my life. Something bad is going to happen, and I won’t even have a say in it. Comical almost, how the cosmic strings sometimes get pulled. All my life spent fighting against suicide just to be killed by something out of my control. Astonishing really. God must have a dark sense of humor.

Maybe I’m just delusional. Maybe it’s real. Nightmares usually aren’t remembered when you fall into a 15 minute exhaustion coma. The memories are all to vivid to not be real though.